The 30 Stages Of Having A Traumatic Hair Experience

1. So, you think it’s time to make a change to your hair.

Your current style just isn’t cutting it anymore.

2. You have a perfect vision of how you want your hair to look.


3. You go to the hairdresser, full of hope and excitement!

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4. Which suddenly falls away with each snip.

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Did the hairstylist even LOOK at the photo you showed them??

5. You see that your hair is dropping everywhere around you.

6. This is the point where your dream makeover turns into disaster.

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**miracles DON’T happen**

7. You realize you’ve made a HUGE mistake.


8. Before the shock settles in, you wonder who the fuck told you bangs was a good idea.

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9. Actually, you wonder what possessed you to make the worst decision of your life.

You really don’t know.

10. And you definitely think “OF COURSE this would happen to me.”


11. But you grin and bear it, although your soul is basically dead.

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12. You’re normally a nice person, but you can’t help but throw the stylist some fierce shade when you go to pay.

Because this is what you really want to say:

13. You go home and cry about your new “hairstyle” for a couple of days.


15. And cry some more.

16. Everywhere you go, everyone seems to be rubbing their long, beautiful hair in your face.


Which makes you cry harder.

17. When you’re not crying, you’re fuming to no end.

18. And when you’re not fuming or crying, you’re just freaking out.

19. You’ll doubt your friend’s and family’s support.

Because you KNOW they’re laughing about it on the inside.

20. So you salvage what hair you have left.


21. And you’ll probably turn to this:

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Which might not help the whole “I-have-orange-hair” situation, but desperate times, etc.

Or this:

Even though the smell literally makes you barf every time you use it.

22. Or you just perfect the art of wearing a wig.

Bravo /

23. But eventually you resort to cutting off your hair.

Is it really that easy?

24. And you basically feel free.




25. Until you seethe at THAT ONE question:

“Are you trying to look like a boy?” Or these other cringe-worthy, totally unacceptable words.

In which you respond:

No, I’m trying to look like MYSELF, OK?

26. It takes you a while to trust a new hair stylist.

27. You might consider keeping your hair short.

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