The 29 Most American Things That Have Ever Happened

WARNING: THIS ARTICLE IS ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO BLEED RED, WHITE, AND BLUE.

1. THIS FACT:

THIS FACT:

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Via pandawhale.com

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, EUROPE.

2. THE ONLY ICE CREAM WORTH EATING. 50 SCOOPS, PLEASE:

THE ONLY ICE CREAM WORTH EATING. 50 SCOOPS, PLEASE:

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Via knowyourmeme.com

AND GIMME SOME EXTRA FOR AMERICAN SAMOA AND GUAM.

3. OUR PROTECTOR-IN-CHIEF TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM:

The 29 Most American Things That Have Ever Happened

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Via reactiongifs.com

4. PRIME NUMBERS. PRIME NUMBERS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE AMERICAN:

PRIME NUMBERS. PRIME NUMBERS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE AMERICAN:

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Via jpgdump.com

5. THE AMERICAN CALENDAR:

THE AMERICAN CALENDAR:

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Via pinterest.com

6. THIS BEAUTIFUL INSTANCE OF DIVINE AUTOCORRECT INTERVENTION:

THIS BEAUTIFUL INSTANCE OF DIVINE AUTOCORRECT INTERVENTION:

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7. COLBERT DEMONSTRATING WHAT AMERICA’S GREATEST GIFT IS:

COLBERT DEMONSTRATING WHAT AMERICA'S GREATEST GIFT IS:

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Comedy Central

8. LOOKING LIKE THIS EVERY TIME THE NATIONAL ANTHEM COMES ON:

The 29 Most American Things That Have Ever Happened

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NBC

9. THIS GRAPH BLEEDS AMERICA. 12-0:

THIS GRAPH BLEEDS AMERICA. 12-0:

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Via reddit.com

10. OUR KITCHEN CABINET IS A LARGE BODY OF WATER:

OUR KITCHEN CABINET IS A LARGE BODY OF WATER:

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= / Via joyreactor.com

11. DISEASE DOESN’T EXIST IN AMERICA:

DISEASE DOESN'T EXIST IN AMERICA:

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Via memedroid.com

12. THIS ESSAY WORD COUNT. WHY WOULD YOU WRITE ANYTHING LESS PATRIOTIC:

THIS ESSAY WORD COUNT. WHY WOULD YOU WRITE ANYTHING LESS PATRIOTIC:

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Via reddit.com

13. FEEDING THE CHILDREN:

FEEDING THE CHILDREN:

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Via pinterest.com

14. THE PERFECT BILLBOARD COMBO. I KNOW WHAT I’M HAVING FOR DINNER:

THE PERFECT BILLBOARD COMBO. I KNOW WHAT I'M HAVING FOR DINNER:

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Via funnyasduck.net

15. THE ONLY RATING SCALE WITH WHICH YOU CAN PROPERLY RATE AMERICA:

THE ONLY RATING SCALE WITH WHICH YOU CAN PROPERLY RATE AMERICA:

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Via boxingfanatik.tumblr.com

16. THE PERFECT BEDTIME STORY AKA A DRAMATIC RETELLING OF THE CLASSIC FILM THE PATRIOT:

THE PERFECT BEDTIME STORY AKA A DRAMATIC RETELLING OF THE CLASSIC FILM THE PATRIOT :

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Via weknowmemes.com

17. THE CHILDREN LEARNING WHAT THEY NEED TO LEARN:

THE CHILDREN LEARNING WHAT THEY NEED TO LEARN:

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Via Twitter: @maybewise

18. THE ULTIMATE ONE ON ONE GAME:

THE ULTIMATE ONE ON ONE GAME:

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tumblr.com / Via reddit.com

19. THE ONLY JOKE THAT MATTERS:

THE ONLY JOKE THAT MATTERS:

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Via lolsnaps.com

20. THIS GORGEOUS FLAG MADE OUT OF AMERICA’S NUMBER ONE EXPORT:

THIS GORGEOUS FLAG MADE OUT OF AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE EXPORT:

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Via pinterest.com

21. AN AUSTRALIAN LEARNING WHAT AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT:

AN AUSTRALIAN LEARNING WHAT AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT:

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Via reddit.com

22. HOW HARRY POTTER WOULD’VE ENDED IN AMERICA:

The 29 Most American Things That Have Ever Happened

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Via youtube.com

23. ALWAYS BEING AT THE TOP OF THE ALPHABETICAL LIST OF COUNTRIES. THAT’S AMERICAN AS HELL:

ALWAYS BEING AT THE TOP OF THE ALPHABETICAL LIST OF COUNTRIES. THAT'S AMERICAN AS HELL:

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24. THIS LIST STRAIGHT FROM KOREAN STUDENTS LEARNING ENGLISH ABROAD:

THIS LIST STRAIGHT FROM KOREAN STUDENTS LEARNING ENGLISH ABROAD:

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Via reddit.com

25. HULK HOGAN GIVING THE SOVIET FLAG A HEAD SANDWICH:

The 29 Most American Things That Have Ever Happened

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Via memebase.cheezburger.com

26. USING THE RIGHT FORM OF “THEY’RE.” DOESN’T GET MUCH MORE AMERICAN THAN THAT:

USING THE RIGHT FORM OF "THEY'RE." DOESN'T GET MUCH MORE AMERICAN THAN THAT:

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Via thechive.com

27. SLEEPING LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT:

The 29 Most American Things That Have Ever Happened

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Via youtube.com

28. OL’ TOMMY J WRITING THE GREATEST BREAKUP LETTER EVER:

OL' TOMMY J WRITING THE GREATEST BREAKUP LETTER EVER:

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Via theguardian.com

29. THE BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE OF A LIFETIME:

THE BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE OF A LIFETIME:

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Via uberhumor.com

IN CONCLUSION:

The 29 Most American Things That Have Ever Happened

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Comedy Central

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