The 28 Awkward Stages Of Every School Disco
Girls to the left, boys to the right.
1. OMG SCHOOL DISCO.
2. What will you wear?
3. Who will you arrive with?
4. WHO WILL YOU SNOG?
5. There was only one way to find out. You called all your friends…
6. … to coordinate your (predominantly denim) outfits…
7. … and avoid an absolute fashion mare.
8. When the night came, you had a mild panic.
9. Followed by half an hour of hair crimping.
10. And applying all the free magazine make up you could get your hands on to your face.
11. Your mum dropped you off at the far end of the car park.
12. Where you met your friends so you could all walk into your assembly hall together. Which felt very exciting because you were at school in the evening.
13. The only people on the dance floor were your Maths teachers.
14. So you headed straight to the snack table, which was manned by your friend’s mum, and exclusively sold sherbet.
15. But sometimes MEGA sherbet.
16. You helped yourself to a Panda Pop and headed to the dance floor.
17. Where the girls occupied one side. And the boys occupied the other.
18. No one danced.
19. Until the “Macarena” came on.
20. Followed by “Thriller”.
21. And “Mambo No. 5”.
22. And “The Ketchup Song”. What a banger.
23. By the time Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” played, you felt brave enough to ask the person you fancied whether their friend might maybe possibly want to dance with your friend later.
24. “Angels” presented the perfect opportunity for an arms-length slow dance.
25. Which, if you were lucky, resulted in a cheeky snog.