The 17 Weirdest Things Ever For Sale On The Internet

,

Welcome to the greatest marketplace in the world.

1. A life-size statue of what Arnold Schwarzenegger would look like if he was clinically obese.

A life-size statue of what Arnold Schwarzenegger would look like if he was clinically obese.

View this image ›

Via dxdsys.en.alibaba.com

Really. All yours for around £10,000.

Carefully wrapped in a bubble bag. Yours in five working days.

Carefully wrapped in a bubble bag. Yours in five working days.

View this image ›

Via dxdsys.en.alibaba.com

2. Someone to stand in a queue for you.

Someone to stand in a queue for you.

View this image ›

Via linestanding.com

The Linestanding website says: “We provide persons to stand in line anywhere in the greater Washington DC area, and specialize in United States Congressional hearings and their respective committees as well as the US Supreme Court. Submit your details and our secure reservation form takes care of the rest. We also offer real-time rendezvous confirmation.”

3. Some belly button lint.

Some belly button lint.

View this image ›

Via craigslist.org

Will trade for muscle car.

4. Fifty-five gallons of lube.

Fifty-five gallons of lube.

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

It has some brilliant reviews:

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

5. Some bacon lip balm.

Some bacon lip balm.

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

“Just carry around a tube of this Bacon Lip Balm and you can keep your lips moist and meaty around the clock. Warning: Your lips will smell like bacon, but they are not bacon.”

6. A Sigmund Freud action figure.

A Sigmund Freud action figure.

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

“Includes a distinctly phallic cigar.”

7. A mask to make you look like Barry Chuckle.

A mask to make you look like Barry Chuckle.

View this image ›

Via mask-arade.com

Yours for just £3.58. Most concerningly, Paul doesn’t get one. What did Paul do wrong?

8. The Autoblow 2.

The 17 Weirdest Things Ever For Sale On The Internet

View this image ›

Via indiegogo.com

It’s a robotic oral sex simulator. You put your penis in it and, well, it does the above. It also makes smoothies (it doesn’t make smoothies).

9. A replica of 5 pounds of human fat.

A replica of 5 pounds of human fat.

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

“The grossly dramatic Life/Form® replica of five-pounds of human fat is a shocking but strongly motivating attention-getter.”

10. An antique hand crank womens vibrating dildo.

An antique hand crank womens vibrating dildo.

View this image ›

Via craigslist.org

Amazing condition.

11. A tub of 1,500 live ladybirds.

A tub of 1,500 live ladybirds.

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

Actually quite useful if you have an aphid problem on your plants. But still, unexpected.

12. Twenty-five metric tons of chicken feet.

Twenty-five metric tons of chicken feet.

View this image ›

Via alibaba.com

That’s a minimum order.

13. A human-size hamster wheel.

A human-size hamster wheel.

View this image ›

Via craigslist.org

Shredded newspaper also available.

14. Some uranium ore.

Some uranium ore.

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

Featuring more amazing reviews:

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

15. A Nicolas Cage pillowcase cover.

A Nicolas Cage pillowcase cover.

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

Sadly unavailable at present.

16. A slightly damaged laptop.

A slightly damaged laptop.

View this image ›

gumtree.com / Via blog.comparemymobile.com

17. And a bag of Haribo gummy bears that will tear out your innards.

And a bag of Haribo gummy bears that will tear out your innards.

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

Seriously. These are the greatest Amazon reviews ever written.

View this image ›

Via amazon.com

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/alanwhite/the-17-weirdest-things-ever-for-sale-on-the-internet

Comments

comments

Leave a Reply