The 14 Stages Of Stress Leading Up To The Big Game
Clear eyes, full hearts, oh my god I lose my goddamn mind if they lose.
1. One week before the biggest game of the season (thus far), you’ll begin fervently reading about what to expect from the other team.
You are suddenly an expert on a team you haven’t cared about all season. Good. A warrior is always prepared.
2. Three days before the game, you begin wearing only team color and gear.
3. By this time, the game is the only thing you can think or talk about.
4. You begin paying close attention to every minor injury or distraction. On both teams.
5. The day before the game is pretty much blocked out for mental preparation of what will happen.
6. The night before the game, you feel totally convinced you’re gonna win it this time. No more little mistakes. The other team is just not quite as elite as they claim.
7. Two hours after you’ve become fully convicted of your team’s ability to win, you have a change of heart: They’re gonna lose. They’re gonna make little mistakes. The other team is just too good.
It’s easier this way, right? Prepare for the worst!
8. But on the morning of the game, you hang onto every word of the analysts predicting who will win, even though you’ve never found them as credible before. Any support counts!
9. Three hours before the game begins, you’re probably dressed in the most ridiculous team-themed outfit you could create.
10. The anxiety is unbearable.
11. At this point, you might start pouring beer down your throat or frantically eating cookies. Anything to dilute the adrenaline careening through your veins.
12. Game time! *Vomits*
13. Remember to breathe, and no matter what happens, IT IS NOT JUST A GAME.