How To Be The “Cool” NYC Girl Anywhere You Go
Sometimes you have to do the dreaded and leave NYC, whether its to attend an event or to move back home with your parents after college. Whatever the excuse, don’t fret. You can still take your overly pretentious New York City habits with you where ever you go and here’s how.
1. Whatever Happens, Always Relate it Back to Sex & the City
Everything that happens to you can be related back to Sex & the City. Bonus points if you constantly reference how Carrie went to Aiden’s cabin that one time and hated all the gross nature around her. Feels really fitting for this situation, doesn’t it?
***Constantly referencing Broad City or Girls is also acceptable***
3. Talk About How Being in a Car is so “Crazy”
Inevitably if you’re not in NYC you’ll probably have to ride in cars.
This is the perfect opportunity to drop the “Wow omg!? A Car!? This is crazy. I NEVER drive so its so weird to like actually drive somewhere you know? Like its really nuts. I’m always on the 6 train. Literally the 6 train IS MY LIFE” bomb on everyone around you. People will find you so cool that you just don’t conform to mainstream transportation (or really annoying because you’re being an obnoxious NYC girl. Either way you win.)
***Added bonus if you’re in said car and get carsick and continually mention how it is because “you’re never, EVER, in a car.” ***
5. Demand Starbucks
“Wait, we’re going to Dunkin? Is there a Starbucks around here? Their coffee is just higher quality, you know? Plus I could so go for a snack pack! I need protein and their little peanut butter packages are so0o cute!”
***Added bonus if you go to Starbucks during rush hour and order a venti mocha double whip frappuchino when there is only one barista.***
7. When In Doubt: Suggest Brunch
If it’s the middle of the day and you’re hungry, why settle for lunch when you can have be an annoying NYC girl and suggest brunch? Inevitably, wherever you go probably won’t have trendy places that serve breakfast in the middle of the day, but you’ll look totally cool and you’ll confuse all non NYC people alike.
8. Ask About Duane Reade Locations
When they don’t know what you’re talking about, which they won’t, and they suggest other drug stores like CVS or Walgreens, audibly moan and say something like “Ew.” Give them a dirty look and walk away.
***Added bonus if you yell at them and tell them all about how they’re peasants.***
10. Go to Bars and Yell About Closing Time
Bars closing at 2am, 1am or even 12 am? That is disgusting. What an outrage. Shout about how that town is boring and how people in (insert towns name here) don’t know how to party. Get wasted and yell some more. Talk about how in NYC bars are open until 4am and you never need a DD. Relate this whole experience again to Sex in the City where Carrie is bored in Aiden’s cabin. More points for you. You officially won at being the obnoxious NYC girl in your hometown.