Community Post: The Definitive Comparison Of Beyonce’s And Bruno Mars’ Halftime Show
1. Super Bowl halftime shows are spectacles seen once a year. So who did it better? Beyonce or Bruno Mars?
2. 1) The Entrance.
Beyonce. Is behind. Beyonce.
Beyonce enters from the floor with flashing lights, thick fog, and a fierce stance. Who is this goddess?! This is what we’ve been waiting for! SHE’S SILHOUETTED! I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT! SHOW ME BEYONCE!
omgomgomg she’s singing and I still can’t see her face and I’m so excited and BOOM look at that pose and ahhhhhhhh!
6. Bruno Mars
….why are there children singing this? What purpose do these children have? Why are they here? This is not Bruno Mars.
Oh….Bruno Mars is sitting down. And he can play the drums? I guess he wants us to know that. Cool Bruno Mars. You can play the drums.
Yes. His drums moved . But. Uh. We’re just as confused as Bruno is.
9. Winner: Beyonce.
10. 2) The Stage
Unique. Expressive. Beautiful. Classy. You can only see this stage at the Super Bowl. That hair. Those lights.
12. Bruno Mars
Is this the Grammy’s or the Super Bowl?
13. Winner: Beyonce
14. 3) The Dancing
No comment needed.
The most women ever seen on screen at any Super Bowl.
No commented needed. Again.
18. Bruno Mars
….People still do this?
19. Winner: Beyonce
20. 4) The Special Guest
Omg. It’s Destiny’s Child. Beyonce was a part of Destiny’s Child. This makes so much sense that they would reunite. This is what we wanted to see!
Holy. What. Destiny’s Child. Dancing and singing to Single’s Lady. This is like some sort of alternate universe where all of my dreams come true.
23. Bruno Mars
Why is this happening? Are Bruno Mars and The Red Hot Chili Peppers friends? I didn’t know that they were friends.
…..why is that old man shirtless? Is this necessary? I’m uncomfortable.
25. Winner: Beyonce
26. 5) The Wow Moment
As Beyonce dances, the stage rises behind her and she dances with herself.
Seamlessly, two real girls replace two of the digital Beyonce-s. WHAT’S REAL ANYMORE!?
THEN SHE SWITCHES OUT THE TWO REAL GIRLS WITH TWO OTHER REAL GIRLS! I bet you didn’t notice that huh? (the original real girls can be seen on either side) Their insane dance moves shatter the screen as it lowers back down.
30. Bruno Mars
Sometimes the lights flashed too.
32. Winner: Beyonce.
33. 6) The Obligatory Closing Slow Song
Belting out Halo, Beyonce throws herself at her fans.
That. Is. A. Freaking. Halo. Yesssssssss.
36. Bruno Mars
With no fans in sight, Bruno sings some song you already forgot about on a slowly rotating circle for no obvious reason. But cool. Fireworks.
Wait. Did I just start watching a music video I would see in a hookah bar? What’s up with the cheap firework overlay? Who approved this?
38. Winner: Beyonce
39. BONUS ROUND!
40. Diversity: Beyonce.
Look! Women! Of all colors! Actually, ONLY women were on the stage.
Also, rainbows during Destiny’s Child. Love it.
Bruno Mars had no women on stage. At all. At any point.
43. Intro Video: Beyonce
Fan service! Pepsi held a contest and crowdsourced the “Countdown” intro video.
Bruno Mars’ used the city as instruments with terrifying hands coming down from the sky, seemingly destroying everything they touch.
AHHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE STADIUM! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
46. And the definitive, objective, indisputable winner is…..
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