Capoeira Is Pretty Much The Most Badass Martial Art Ever

You may know it as “sexy-dance-fighting.”

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… Thanks to a particularly hilarious episode of Bob’s Burgers where Tina starts taking capoeira lessons.

1. But it’s SO much more, and you’ve actually already seen it.

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2. Capoeira is Dustin Hoffman trying to kick Robert Deniro’s ass in Meet The Fockers.

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3. It’s Vincent Cassel making his way through a laser secured room in Ocean’s 12.

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4. And the only good part about Halle Berry in Catwoman.

5. It first caught Hollywood’s eye back in the ’90s with the movie Only The Strong.

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6. Then it started popping up in fighting movies such as The Protector.

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7. At one point it even crept its way into Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

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8. But before it went Hollywood, capoeira came to life through African slaves forced over to Brazil from regions such as Angola, the Gulf of Guinea, and the Republic of the Congo.

9. Back then, slaves weren’t allowed to fight so they added music and movement to trick their masters into thinking they were dancing.

… Hence giving capoeira it’s ceremonial dance-like nature.

10. Capoeira was officially outlawed in Brazil in 1892.

11. So capoeristas had to keep a very low profile; they gave each other nicknames so as to keep their true identities a secret.

That way, if a group was caught fighting, they wouldn’t be able to give up the names of others involved even if they wanted to. The tradition of giving out nicknames is still an active part of Capoeira.

12. The prohibition lasted until the 1930s, and then it went on to become one of the most popular martial arts both in Brazil and abroad.

Mestre Bimba, the father of capoeira and founder of the first capoeira school in all of Brazil, was essential in fighting for the legality of the martial art.

13. Capoeira is the only martial art that requires live music.

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14. So you get to play instruments you never imagined existed.

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This is a berimbau.

15. You can learn how to flip like these guys:

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16. And sometimes you even get to fight with machetes.

In the style of capoeira called “maculele,” players engage each other with wooden sticks; the more advanced trade in their sticks for machetes.

17. So maybe it does strike a resemblance to “sexy-dance-fighting”…

18. … But don’t be fooled because you can, and will, knock a bitch out!

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19. This. Is. Capoeira.

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