All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick’s Day

And there’s nothing you can do about it.

1. It’s St. Patrick’s Day!

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via giphy.com

2. The day on which “everyone is Irish.”

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via giphy.com

3. And in America, by “Irish” we mean “shitballs drunk.”

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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4. You will stand in ridiculous lines to get into some crappy bar.

You will stand in ridiculous lines to get into some crappy bar.

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Via thechive.com

5. And getting a drink will require some form of sorcery.

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via wifflegif.com

6. The sight of green beer will make you urp a little…

The sight of green beer will make you urp a little...

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7. …but you’ll drink it anyway.

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via wifflegif.com

8. A lot of it.

A lot of it.

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Via theadventuresofamelia.com

9. Men will wear offensive T-shirts.

Men will wear offensive T-shirts.

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Via zazzle.com

10. Women will accessorize like five-year-old girls.

Women will accessorize like five-year-old girls.

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Via newtimes.co.rw

11. And someone who’s not wearing green will claim that their underwear is.

And someone who’s not wearing green will claim that their underwear is.

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Via someecards.com

12. …And offer to show it to you.

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Via giphy.com

13. Some fool will try to recreate the Riverdance.

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And fail.

14. You will definitely run into this guy…

You will definitely run into this guy...

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Via peopleofwalmart.com

15. And he will pinch your butt.

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via wifflegif.com

16. Someone will tell you they are 1/16th Irish.

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via wifflegif.com

17. …And recount other Celtic fables.

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via uproxx.com

18. There is a 100% chance you will encounter vomit.

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via giphy.com

19. With a 60% chance it will wind up on you.

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via BuzzFeed via FUSE

And it’s freakin’ green.

20. And a 40% chance it will be your own.

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Via tumblr.com

21. No one will want to be the designated driver…

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Via wifflegif.com

22. …so you’ll have to call in your last resort.

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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23. By the end of the night, this WILL be you.

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via giphy.com

24. You’ll swear you will NEVER do this again.

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via wifflegif.com

25. That is, until…

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via wifflegif.com

26. CINCO DE MAYO!

All The Things That Happen When You Go Out On St. Patrick's Day

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Via giphy.com

Be safe, and have a happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/thesingleg/all-the-things-that-happen-when-you-go-out-on-st-jvz8

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