A Guide To The NBA’s Best League Pass Teams
Note: “League Pass Teams” have to be entertaining, but fundamentally flawed. The Heat, Thunder, Lakers, Spurs and Bulls can’t be “League Pass Teams” because they’re too good.
6. Cleveland Cavaliers
The Cavs suck. They really suck. We’re talking a “Luke Walton got serious minutes in Sunday’s loss to the Suns” kind of suck. BUT they have one of the most likable, exciting, mind-blowingly good rookies in recent memory. If you’re not watching Kyrie, you have no idea how good he is.
Why You Should Watch: Only for Kyrie Irving. If you have the ability to turn your eyes off whenever he’s not on the floor, you should do that.
Fundamental Flaw: They suck.
5. Denver Nuggets
The Nuggets are one of the most entertaining teams in the league. Danilo Gallinari is a giant goofy Italian guy with an absurd nickname (“The Rooster”), who also happens to be able to put the team on his back at any moment. Ty Lawson is one of the fastest players on the planet, and every Nuggets game could be the time for Chris “The Birdman” Andersen “to fly.” These things alone would be enough to get them consideration for this list, but I haven’t even mentioned the fact that they went out and traded for BuzzFeed Sports’ spirit animal JaVale McGee. Thank you, oh powerful basketball god for smiling upon me.
Why You Should Watch: Because LITERALLY anything could happen. And that’s not an improper use of “literally.” I mean literally anything could happen when JaVale McGee is involved.
Fundamental Flaw: They don’t have an identity. They lack a star and seem to be stuck in between competing for a title and being bad enough to get a good pick.
4. New York Knicks
Drama. The Knicks are a really good, but flawed TV show. Like “Friday Night Lights” without Coach Taylor. They overcame an early season swoon, by finding a diamond in the rough (Jeremy Lin doing his best Matt Saracen). They fell apart again only to push out their increasingly frustrated and confused-looking coach in favor of a tougher disciplinarian (maybe Mike Woodson is Coach Taylor, with Woodson’s goatee playing Tami). And now they’re winning despite the fact that their star doesn’t look good (Carmelo Anthony is a constantly hungover Tim Riggins.) Will they ever figure it out? Clear eyes. Full goatees. Can’t lose.
Why You Should Watch: Because if you don’t NBC will cancel it. Wait, I may be confused.
Fundamental Flaw: It doesn’t get much more dysfunctional than the Knicks, and Carmelo Anthony is not exactly living up to the hype that accompanied him to the city.
3. Milwaukee Bucks
Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis are two explosive scorers who shoot way too much and have style for days. It’s unclear how these two could possibly play in the same backcourt for an extended period of time (a theme of Monta’s career), but if it fails, it will fail in the loudest most entertaining way possible.
Why You Should Watch: Because Brandon could bring this back any day now.
Fundamental Flaw: This pairing just can’t work.
2. Los Angeles Clippers
Have you ever wanted to see the most athletic team in the NBA try to restrain themselves from physically assaulting their coach? Well then have I got the team for you. You’re guaranteed at least two alley oops and an awkward timeout a game. It’s like the British Office if Ricky Gervais tried to dunk on every single person. (Sorry Chris Paul. Blake’s Ricky. You can be Martin Freeman.)
Why You Should Watch: Because Chris Paul and Blake Griffin are the most exciting duo in the NBA.
Fundamental Flaw: They lack perimeter scoring and have the worst coach in the NBA.
1. Minnesota Timberwolves
Yes. I know it’s tortuous to put a photo of that adorable scamp Ricky Rubio here considering he’s out for the season now. But I miss him so damn much it hurts. But even without the little Spaniard, the Wolves top this list. Kevin Love establishing himself as the best big man in the NBA with gaudy line after gaudy line? Check. Derrick Williams busting out a highlight or two every night, despite not having a true position yet? Check. Michael Beasley
being super high acting like he’s super high all the time? Check. If you can’t find something to enjoy about this Wolves team, you should give up on basketball now. They live at the intersection of quality and crazy basketball.
Why You Should Watch: Kevin Love is the best big man in basketball and only the third most entertaining player on their team. (A healthy Rubio and Michael Beasley’s addled self top him.)
Fundamental Flaw: Age. They’re just too young. But next year they’ll probably be too good for this list.