9 Things That Should Never Appear On Your Online Dating Profile

Ever.

1. “I love to laugh/have a good time/[insert any other universally enjoyable experience]”

Personally, I hate laughing. And having a good time. That shit is the absolute worst. BUT, the rest of the entire world—like, every single person in it—kind of really loves those things a lot. Let’s put an end to these statements.

Via ifyoucantaffordtotip.com

2. “OMG. Totes! Obvi. 😉 Lolz”

Those aren’t words, and they make you look like a 12-year-old Belieber. Stop it. You’re better than that.

Via static.usvsth3m.com

3. Every favorite book listed is assigned reading for everyone in high school

LIAR! You don’t like reading, but you want to seem smart. A worthy suitor will be able to see through this. But, if you insist on portraying yourself to be this way, at least take 2 minutes to Google titles other than Catcher in the Rye and the Grapes of Wrath.

Via stream1.gifsoup.com

4. A laundry list of unrealistic qualities you need in a significant other

In the unlikely event that the person with every single quality you listed stumbles across your profile, you’ll seem uber high maintenance, and kind of scary.

Via 31.media.tumblr.com

5. Every picture is of you and your best friend

Why don’t you realize that this means no one knows which one you are?

Via tumblr.com

6. “it’s really hard to summarize myself in one paragraph”

Yup. It is for us all. Moving on.

Via media.tumblr.com

7. Pictures of yourself taken from your bathroom

We all have our best angles, and the bathroom lighting can be very friendly to our flaws, however:

1.) you’re in the bathroom. Gross. 2.) you don’t look like that.

Via 24.media.tumblr.com

8. Duck lips

How is this still a thing.

Via blogger.com

9. The Marilyn Monroe Quote: “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Translation: You crazy

Via olivethepeople.com

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/interestedapp/9-things-that-should-never-appear-on-your-online-d-nbgi

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