28 Abysmal One-Star Reviews Of Literary Classics

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1. “I did not like this book at all the twilight books were better”

“I did not like this book at all the twilight books were better”

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2. “I guess if you are a serial killer than you would like this book.”

“I guess if you are a serial killer than you would like this book.”

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3. “the language is too rich and poetic for my liking”

“the language is too rich and poetic for my liking”

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4. “Struggle struggle struggle then some Lion come from out of nowhere and saves the day.”

“Struggle struggle struggle then some Lion come from out of nowhere and saves the day.”

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5. “Complete drivel….This book has no conflict.”

"Complete drivel….This book has no conflict."

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6. “No wonder Melville flopped as a writter.”

"No wonder Melville flopped as a writter."

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7. “No swordfights, no prince and princess, no happy ending.”

“No swordfights, no prince and princess, no happy ending.”

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8. “While a brilliantly crafted story, it is my firm belief that tragedy has no place in children’s literature.”

“While a brilliantly crafted story, it is my firm belief that tragedy has no place in children’s literature.”

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9. “I honestly have problems reading classics because of the setting and time frame, reading involves imagination, and I’d much rather imagine things in the present rather than force myself to live in a time where I don’t know what existed.”

“I honestly have problems reading classics because of the setting and time frame, reading involves imagination, and I’d much rather imagine things in the present rather than force myself to live in a time where I don’t know what existed.”

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10. “Pure crap.”

"Pure crap."

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11. “Seems to me that the message is here is its OK to be a complete sociopath…..”

“Seems to me that the message is here is its OK to be a complete sociopath…..”

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12. “I feel like DeFoe must have been drunk at the time he was writing it.”

“I feel like DeFoe must have been drunk at the time he was writing it.”

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13. “I will never read another shakespere novel again”

“I will never read another shakespere novel again”

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14. “It is supposedly a great Spanish classic but it is as bad as Shakespear.”

"It is supposedly a great Spanish classic but it is as bad as Shakespear."

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15. “I agree the bunnies are creepy and there are wierd things going on.”

“I agree the bunnies are creepy and there are wierd things going on.”

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16. “it might be a satyr and all but I did not like it.”

"it might be a satyr and all but I did not like it."

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17. “IN MY OPINION THIS WAS TOTALLY UNFAIR TO OUR POSTAL SYSTEM.”

“IN MY OPINION THIS WAS TOTALLY UNFAIR TO OUR POSTAL SYSTEM.”

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18. “Mr. Wright did not even write that good.”

“Mr. Wright did not even write that good.”

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19. “Dickens is a jerk. Nobody likes his stuff, they’re just afraid to say it because he’s supposed to be classy.”

“Dickens is a jerk. Nobody likes his stuff, they’re just afraid to say it because he’s supposed to be classy.”

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20. “When I read a summary of the story and viewed the DVD, I did not want to read the novel. It was far too depressing to see again or to read.“

“When I read a summary of the story and viewed the DVD, I did not want to read the novel. It was far too depressing to see again or to read.“

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21. “I still can’t believe that Ma ironed on the wagon in the middle of the prairie. (wtf?)”

“I still can’t believe that Ma ironed on the wagon in the middle of the prairie. (wtf?)”

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22. “Aquariuses like Mr. Dickens are supposed to be humanitarians. Most Aquarians that I have known do tend to act much like Mr. Dickens, and try to BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH HOW GODDAMNED HUMANITARIAN THEY ARE. Seriously.”

“Aquariuses like Mr. Dickens are supposed to be humanitarians. Most Aquarians that I have known do tend to act much like Mr. Dickens, and try to BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH HOW GODDAMNED HUMANITARIAN THEY ARE. Seriously.”

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23. “Read this to your child if you want him to live in fear that when he falls ill, all of his toys will be burned.”

“Read this to your child if you want him to live in fear that when he falls ill, all of his toys will be burned.”

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24. “This was the absolute second worst book I’ve ever read (the worst being Hotel For Dogs).”

“This was the absolute second worst book I’ve ever read (the worst being Hotel For Dogs).”

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25. “The incest part and stuff bummed me out.”

“The incest part and stuff bummed me out.”

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26. “Mr. Beowulf should be required to repeat his nighttime writer’s class at the learning annex.”

“Mr. Beowulf should be required to repeat his nighttime writer’s class at the learning annex.”

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27. “Ever since women (deservedly) got the vote, feminists have had to scrounge for stuff to gripe about. Take Ally McBeal, for example.”

“Ever since women (deservedly) got the vote, feminists have had to scrounge for stuff to gripe about. Take Ally McBeal, for example.”

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28. “Never. Trust. Oprah.”

“Never. Trust. Oprah.”

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LINK

For more check out One-Star Book Reviews!

Hat tip @thejumbles.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/kmallikarjuna/abysmal-one-star-reviews-of-literary-classics

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