24 Ways You Might Be A Hoarder
1. Inbox zero is a hilarious impossibility.
Deletion is forever, OK? FOREVER.
3. You keep all your plastic bags, because you know that plastic bags are super useful and you cannot have enough…
You could use them to make a whole dress. A WHOLE DRESS!
4. …except all those plastic bags just end up making you look kind of crazy.
5. You still have every important document you’ve ever touched in your life, and it’s all stacked on your desk.
6. Your shoes aren’t worn out until you SAY your shoes are worn out.
You wouldn’t deny an injured person medical care, would you? Then just think of me as like a surgeon for shoes.
7. You’ve wondered if you should just go ahead and buy a Kindle, for everyone’s safety.
8. Storage Wars and Pawn Stars are basically your porn.
I could be set for life with just this one old weird object!
9. You have a “no food left behind” policy when it comes to taking home leftovers at restaurants.
This sometimes applies to other people’s food, too.
10. You totally understood all those people who bought up Twinkies and Sriracha before they were supposed to run out.
It’s an investment in future deliciousness.
11. When other people apologize for their barely cluttered room, it makes you feel even worse for how cluttered your room is.
12. Sometimes you buy things knowing that you’re going to return them.
You’re not returning it.
13. When you go to Goodwill, you take home more stuff than you drop off.
14. You’d never throw anything out just because it was torn.
If it’s fabric, it can be put back together, OK? THAT’S JUST SCIENCE.
15. Your justification for keeping all your old clothes is that “everything comes back into style.”
BELL-BOTTOMS WILL COME BACK WHEN THEY ARE GOOD AND READY.
16. You are still drowning in all your old Beanie Babies…
18. Or American Girl dolls…
“We’re going to make millions selling ourselves on eBay!” —The American Girl dolls who will never see the outside of your closet again
19. Whenever you break something, you’re convinced that you’ll just “turn it into something awesome!”
You want to go get yourself some broken stuff just looking at this, don’t you?
20. You’ve got enough stuff in your car where if you needed to, you could live out of it for a few days.
Well, that’s just good preparation.
21. You never have your moving boxes only temporarily.
Look, if you want to throw out perfectly good boxes, that’s on your conscience.
22. Your life is littered with water bottles that you haven’t quuuuiiiiiite finished yet.
23. Throwing out something you’ve barely used is just ridiculous, who even does that?
24. When people come inside your house, they’re not sure whether to be scared or impressed.
Because you have so many treasures!