23 Reasons Nothing In This World Is More Disgusting Than Fish
2. Now look at its spine, which has been pulled out of its body and now lies to its side.
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3. Look at these fish bones, festering among the flesh that is still attached to them.
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4. Look at this head. This dead head swimming in the juices that its former fish body has leaked onto this plate.
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6. And imagine the man who has pulled these bones from his teeth BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT THE DEVIL’S FOOD.
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9. Which apparently your flatmates and your colleagues are immune to.
11. Look at this tuna. This slimy tuna that has literally come from a tin, probably in one foul clump because that’s what tinned tuna does. This must be the most revolting thing on earth.
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13. But it’s not just tuna that is the problem. Posh fish is worse.
But maybe you find the lingering taste of fish in the roof of your mouth that WILL PROBABLY NEVER LEAVE YOU somehow sophisticated. I DON’T KNOW.
14. But the worst fish is secret fish. Like the fish you get served in hors d’oevres, or the anchovies that reside under the cheese on a pizza, or the squid that looks like an onion ring.
15. And then everyone’s like, “Oh this isn’t a fishy fish, just try this fish, you’ll like this fish.” So you try their fish, but you don’t like their fish because, you know, it’s still fish.
16. LOADS OF FISH IS THE COLOUR OF YOUR GRANDMA’S CURTAINS, which is not a colour that things you eat should be (see: prawns, prawn cocktail and prawn cocktail crisps).
17. And when you’re a vegetarian, everyone’s like, “Oh, but you eat fish, right?” That is a very dumb question.
18. “But you must take Cod Liver Oil?” “OF COURSE NOT IT IS FISH OIL IN A CAPSULE WHY WOULD I EAT THAT?”
19. So, fellow citizens of the world. Let’s make a pledge. Let’s pledge never to eat small bodies that you have to pull apart while in company.
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20. Let’s never fry whole bodies and eat them as though consuming things like ovaries and bladders (which are all inside fried fish bodies) is normal.
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22. … and let’s never boil shelled fish because arghhhh gross.
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23. And also sometimes when you’ve eaten battered fish there is some skin left behind ewwwwwwww.
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