18 Ways Creamy Peanut Butter Is Actually God

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Thou shalt have no other spreads before me.

1. The divine spreadeth so evenly.

18 Ways Creamy Peanut Butter Is Actually God

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2. Thy fruits should always be adorned with the divine.

Thy fruits should always be adorned with the divine.

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3. And thy vegetables should only be consumed when slathered with the divine.

And thy vegetables should only be consumed when slathered with the divine.

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4. The divine shall always caress thine tongue. It shall never hurt.

The divine shall always caress thine tongue. It shall never hurt.

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5. The divine has more Vitamin E than the crunch abomination.

18 Ways Creamy Peanut Butter Is Actually God

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6. For cream of peanut so loved the world that he gave thou to act as the perfect sticky spread. Those who believe shall have eternal toppings.

For cream of peanut so loved the world that he gave thou to act as the perfect sticky spread. Those who believe shall have eternal toppings.

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7. Thou dost not force one to chew before swallowing.

18 Ways Creamy Peanut Butter Is Actually God

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8. Thou can do everything through protein from cream of peanut.

Thou can do everything through protein from cream of peanut.

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9. Thou shall have no other gods before the divine. Unless the divine is topped with bacon, in which case, awesome.

Thou shall have no other gods before the divine. Unless the divine is topped with bacon, in which case, awesome.

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10. And behold! The animals will swarm to thee!

And behold! The animals will swarm to thee!

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11. And the divine said, “Behold, thou shall cook easily with thee.”

And the divine said, "Behold, thou shall cook easily with thee."

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12. And lo! Even Satan and his tangled bubble gum hair tricks were no match for the divine!

And lo! Even Satan and his tangled bubble gum hair tricks were no match for the divine!

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NBC

13. The divine shall compliment any food.

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14. And the people yearned for the divine, and so the divine was consumed in many ways.

And the people yearned for the divine, and so the divine was consumed in many ways.

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15. And although mouths shall make noises, you shall fear no crunching, for you are with the divine.

And although mouths shall make noises, you shall fear no crunching, for you are with the divine.

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16. The divine is patient, the divine is kind, it isn’t jealous, it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant.

18 Ways Creamy Peanut Butter Is Actually God

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17. The divine shan’t bother the teeth. Thine shall caress and love.

The divine shan't bother the teeth. Thine shall caress and love.

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18. Remember that the divine will always love you, and in doing so, you’ll keep it holy.

Remember that the divine will always love you, and in doing so, you'll keep it holy.

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Amen.

18 Ways Creamy Peanut Butter Is Actually God

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ABC

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/laraparker/reasons-why-creamy-peanut-butter-is-the-best

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