17 Times Neil deGrasse Tyson Won Life

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The astrophysicist’s Twitter is out of this world.

1. When he called B.S. on astrology:

2. When he took it all in:

3. When he offered the real story of Christmas:

4. When he knew what sharks were thinking:

5. When he offered this intriguing zombie proposition:

6. When he said what we’re all too ashamed to admit:

if I am ever abducted by aliens, I just may be compelled to ask, “Do you have Hoverboards on your home planet?”

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

7. When he reminded us that humans just don’t get the big picture:

Although clocks on the Prime Meridian keep “Universal Time”, I’m quite sure Aliens across the actual universe don’t care.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

8. And that humans are largely dumb:

Aliens, seeing Humans kill over land, politics, religion, & skin color, would surely ask, “What the f*%k is wrong with you?”

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

9. When he made this astute observation, making you oh-so-grateful:

If we had twelve fingers, there’d be no middle finger to flip at people with whom you’ve run out of words to communicate.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

10. When he shot down idiots, but with utter class:

Just because you can’t figure out how ancient civilizations built stuff, doesn’t mean they got help from Aliens.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

11. When he made this joke about atheists:

I wonder if Atheists eat at T.G.I. Fridays.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

12. OK, literally all the jokes Neil has ever made about atheists:

I wonder if social media atheists ever use “OMG”. If so, they probably intended to type “OYG”.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

13. When he made this hypothesis, which makes total sense:

Dracula & other undead people who sleep in coffins must have good abs. They always rise up flat-backed when the casket opens.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

14. When, once again, he spelled out another of humanity’s inconsistencies.

We pet dogs, expecting them to lick your hand or face in delight, but if a human licked your face you’d call the police.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

15. When he made this good point that made you pause to think:

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a fat turtle.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

16. When he was clearly the awesomest person in the grocery store, ever:

When I shop for fruit & melons I like to hold a grape next to a cantaloupe & think of Earth next to Jupiter. Then I eat Earth

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

17. And when he SHUT. DOWN. ALL. THE. HATERS:

You should all know by now that if you accuse me of being a Nerd or a Geek, I’ll simply take it as a compliment and move on.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

So be thankful for the joy Neil brings you. And always be thankful for this Vulcan salute:

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/times-neil-degrasse-tyson-won-life

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